I feel like I should write a blog post, but there’s a slight problem.
I don’t know what to say.
That’s not a rare occurrence. There are lots of times when I need time to figure out what to say and how to say it.
I’ll just ramble and maybe something worth sharing will come out of it.
My time on this internship in Uganda is almost over. My last two weeks here have begun. The team I am travelling back home with has arrived and gotten to work. There is plenty to keep me busy – the equipment for our first poultry barn is being set up, the feed mill is being put together, there is corn to dry, planting is going on at the vegetable farm, we’re still working on the dam, and there is still work I can do on the computer.
I’m excited to see my family and friends when I get back– of course. What kind of a daughter/sister/granddaughter/niece/cousin/friend would I be if I wasn’t? But I’m not excited to leave here.
I’ve had a very comfortable time in Uganda. I’ve stayed in a modern house in a nice part of town with power and WiFi (most of the time) and a washing machine and exceptional food and a couple of amazing Canadians and a beautiful Ugandan friend and several lovely short-term guests who have come through. That isn’t why I’m not excited to leave.
This morning, I was thinking about leaving and going back to the US. I know that God doesn’t need me to accomplish the work He is doing in Africa, but I am sad to leave.
I met a guy last week who said that usually, you can leave Africa, but Africa never really leaves you. The people here are amazing. At any given moment you can see a person who has next to nothing and is happier than a rich guy in his mansion. Why? Is it because he doesn’t know what he’s missing? No – if that were true, the rich guy would be happy. It’s because happiness isn’t about how nice your stuff is or what your 401k looks like.
I’m looking forward to a lot of things when I get back to the US – like time with people I love, playing with the family dog(s), driving, eating Mexican food, cooking without worrying about using up someone else’s groceries, iced tea, and tap water I can drink. I’m not looking forward to hearing pointless complaints, associated now with the trendy “first world problems” caption. I’m not looking forward to going back to a job market where everything is about salary and benefits.
I wish I could pick up my family and friends and move them here, but that isn’t likely to happen.
I have a feeling the next season of my life will be a time to learn contentment. I have gotten to live in Uganda for 3+ months and work with a ministry I absolutely love that’s doing amazing work. I have learned a lot here, about agriculture, and about working in both ministry and business. Soon, I will need to return to the US and get a job. I don’t have a problem with working, but it’s going to be hard to leave this environment and this ministry. I hope I can support Watoto from the US and I hope that I get to come back to Uganda. I also hope that I have grown from being here, and that I will be better able to love (all) people unconditionally. You can only give that kind of love to people if you are loving God.
Isn’t that what it’s all about?
Quote of the day: “God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing” – C.S. Lewis